


The Crackship Sails to Molly's

by chantalis



Series: Everyone's Dating Each Other And That Went About As Well As You'd Expect [4]
Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:55:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27242296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chantalis/pseuds/chantalis
Summary: A compilation of one-shots with couples/pairings that are NOT or have ever been canon.Example: Matt Casey x Natalie Manning, Joe Cruz x Ethan Choi, Kim Burgess x Stella Kidd
Relationships: Hailey Upton/Kim Burgess, Jay Halstead/Ethan Choi, Matt Casey/Natalie Manning, Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide, Sarah Reese/Connor Rhodes (Chicago Med), Stella Kidd/Natalie Manning, Sylvie Brett/Jay Halstead
Series: Everyone's Dating Each Other And That Went About As Well As You'd Expect [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023022
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	1. Sylvie Brett x Jay Halstead

Jay was on the floor, in pain. The area around his socket was throbbing in pain, and his lower back was definitely going to have a bruise. He didn’t have time to react before Antonio was back and punching him in the face again. “Oh my god, Antonio stop it!”

He wasn’t fighting it, he just didn’t have it in him to try and stop the man he called his friend, though Jay supposed they wouldn’t be friends much longer. 

Antonio had managed to get in a few more punches before he was hauled off of Jay by Voight and half of the members of 51. Jay exhaled and went to close his eyes, but was interrupted by her entering his line of vision.

Sylvie.

Her mouth was moving, and Jay could vaguely hear her speaking over the shouting men and women. “Sylvie? Are you okay?”

“Me- What? Jay, I’m not the one who just got mauled by Antonio.”

“So you’re okay?”

“Alright get up, I’m taking you to med now. No arguments.”

“Okay.”

“Oh pickles, you’re actually agreeing to go to the hospital, something must be really wrong with you.”

“As long as you’re okay.” His voice was so hoarse he almost didn’t recognize it. Sylvie sighed as he looked at her dazedly while she buckled him up in her car. “I’m okay, I promise. I just have to make sure that you’re okay too.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SIX MONTHS AGO

It had been months since Erin left, and months since Sylvie had to dump Antonio because of his ex-wife. Jay and Sylvie ended up at a table together, neither one was feeling particularly happy at the moment and didn’t want to be around their romantically successful friends. So they sat together, nursed their drinks, and talked about Harry Potter. They’d bumbled around in discussion for a while, not having a whole lot in common, before finding out they were both Harry Potter fans. Will, the rest of the intelligence unit, and 51 weren’t big fans of the book series, sure they’d seen the movies but that was about it. They both found it relaxing to just talk about something that wasn’t about their important work or love. 

They started to spend more and more time together. It started because Sylvie mentioned how she hadn’t grown up in Chicago and was so busy she never got to see the sights, so Jay took it as a challenge and started showing her his favourite parts of the city. Restaurants, theatres, parks, museums, galleries, all of it. He even took her to a restaurant in Canaryville where everyone who worked there had known him his whole life. Sylvie was enthusiastically told stories from Jay’s childhood. Hiding behind curtains buck naked, exposing everyone on the street to his six-year-old butt while he and Will shook in giggles. Block-wide water gunfights. Years of ding dong ditch. Sylvie was in stitches before she even got her food.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THREE MONTHS AGO

There was a fire. A bad one. And after receiving a patient on a gurney, something in the basement exploded, Sylvie and the patient were thrown several metres away. No one else had been injured, but Sylvie wouldn’t wake up, was bleeding profusely out of a cut on her head, and she had shrapnel in her back. It didn’t look good.

“Alright everyone, gear up. 51 just responded to a fire at a suspected meth lab, it was confirmed five minutes ago by an explosion. A paramedic, Sylvie Brett, was critically injured and is currently fighting for her- Halstead? Halstead where do you think you’re going? Halstead get back here!” At the words ‘Sylvie Brett’ Jay’s blood ran cold. At ‘critically injured’ he went into autopilot. Just stood up and left. Didn’t even grab his jacket. He ignored his boss’s enraged screams. He just got in his truck and drove to Med.

He ignored the odd looks he got from those at 51. He ignored his coworkers and boss when they came by to talk to their witnesses/ask him what the actual fuck was going on. He ignored his brother and sister-in-law when they asked him why he was there. He just stayed sitting in the uncomfortable chair for hours, watching nurses and patients flitter between the doors to the ED. It had been six hours when Platt came by to yell at him too only to be interrupted by Dr. Rhodes. “Sylvie is awake and stable, I expect her to make a full recovery. We can only allow one visitor at a time, and she has been asking for Jay since she woke up, she’s pretty frantic, so you’ll have to come quick.” He stood up and almost ran past Rhodes into her room, ignoring the confused looks from everyone at firehouse 51 and Trudy Platt.

“Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay-”

“I’m here Syl, I am right here.” She sobbed as he wrapped her hands in his. “I am right here, and it’ll take an army to get me to move. Or you, but that’s basically the same thing if someone denies you chocolate.” The laugh that briefly interrupted her sobs made his day, releasing the tension he’d been holding all day. Jay sagged in relief, and just held one of her hands as he used the other to gently hug her, hold her as she cried, sobbed, hiccuped and, whimpered from the physical pain expressing her emotions was causing her. “I thought I- w- was goi-i-ing to-o die-e.”

“I know,” he choked, “I thought you were going to die too.”

Jay had refused to leave the hospital until Sylvie ordered him to. “At least shower and change, ooh, get something to eat too.”

“You just want me to bring you mac and cheese don’t you?”

“You know me so well.”

“Alright, I’ll be back in an hour, don’t watch ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ without me.”

“You will take at least three hours to come back here.”

“Sylvie-”

“You have been sitting and worrying for the past three days, take some time for yourself. Don’t make me get Maggie involved.”

“Okay, fine, I will be back in three hours. Can you still wait to watch ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ with me?”

“Duh.”

“Okay, see you later.” He kissed her on the side of her forehead that wasn’t bandaged, and left, starting an alarm on his phone for three hours. He would be back on the dot.

The second he got to the lobby, however, he was met with all of firehouse 51 and the 21st district standing up, expecting news from him. “I’d love to stay and chat, but I have orders to shower and change from Syl. Apparently, I smell.” Trying to use his charm to get out of a situation he didn’t feel like explaining. But, he knew everyone glaring at him well enough to know that they needed some kind of answer. “Sylvie has become a very important friend to me, that day was one of the worst I’ve had in a long time.” Fewer glares, more confusion, and a free Jay Halstead.

He returned to his favourite person on the planet exactly three hours later with two containers filled to the brim with homemade macaroni and cheese, his laptop, and a box set of the Harry Potter books. “You, are an absolute angel, Jay Halstead.”

“No more than you, Sylvie Brett. Here is your food.”

“Oh, it’s still warm. Okay, time for bridal drama and lots of carbs!”

Sylvie was still in the hospital with Jay at her side as much as possible for another week. When she was given the all-clear to leave, no one seemed satisfied with the answer that Jay was taking her home. “Gabby I’ll be fine! Jay is one of my best friends, okay? He’s gonna drive me home, insist he stay longer than he needs to, before eventually leaving me with Otis and Cruz.”

“Okay, seriously, when exactly did you become friends with Jay Halstead? And are you sure that’s all you are?”

“Three months ago, and yes, I am sure that we’re friends. I am gonna hang up now, because I really do not appreciate the third degree.”

“Oh, come on Sylvie, I’m just looking out for you and Antonio, I just want to make sure Jay’s not moving in on you guys.”

“Gabby, there is no me and Antonio. And there hasn’t been for a while. He was great, Eva and Diego were great, it was fun, but he in no way protected or prepared me for Laura. He kept from me how erratic and impulsive and rude her behaviour was. He told me that she knew about me and was fine with cause she’d dating a few guys since the divorce. But it turned out a lot of that wasn’t true. He lied to me, leaving me to fend for myself when she came barreling in on a warpath, and then yelled at me for reacting in a scared and shocked way. He was actually the one who suggested we break up. Whether he likes it or not, she is still a significant part of his and his children’s lives, as well as a significant hindrance. And please, don’t act like we’re getting back together. I loved him, but I’m done with him.” And she slammed her finger on the touch screen much harder than she needed to. “Gabby again?”

“Yes, I love her, and I know she means well, but she doesn’t know everything.”

“And she has a lot of audacity trying to tell you she does. It’ll be okay, I think that everyone is just really stressed out and confused. I think that if we just tell everyone that we bonded over Harry Potter they’ll understand and leave us alone pretty quick.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ONE MONTH AGO

Intelligence had set up a meet with a coke dealer to arrest him and get some intel. The buy wasn’t until 1 am and they didn’t have to start gathering equipment and double-checking everything for another three hours, so everyone was just going to eat and try to relax until then. But then Jay’s phone rang. Luna appeared on his screen with a picture of Sylvie staring at a tank of baby jellyfish with complete and utter fascination. “Hey Syl-”

“I need your help.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I know you’re working tonight, but- oh I probably shouldn’t have called-”

“Sylvie, what’s wrong?”

“The blind date I’m on right now? I- he was fine at first but I’m scared. There are red flags everywhere and I’m afraid I’ll end up in a ditch.”

“Marco’s Bistro, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes, you’re hiding in the bathroom, right?”

“Yes.”

“Good, stay there until I get there.”

“Of course.”

He nodded at Voight and ignored a livid Antonio. When he got to the restaurant, he told the hostess he was here to rescue his friend from a dangerous date and she didn’t even blink. “She’s still in the bathroom but you might wanna deal with her date after, he’s getting agitated.”

“Green dress shirt by the painting of the heron?”

“Yup.”

“Got it, thanks.”

“Hey,” he knocked on the door, “Sylvie I’m here.”

She exited and before he could even make eye contact with her she wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug, despite her shaking body. “I am so scared. He picked me up, saying that I couldn’t refuse him, he knows where I live.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll handle it.” 

Jay watched her until he could see her in safe his truck before he approached the man, and he knew that Sylvie had every right to be worried. Sharp eyes, nasty temper, tan line on his ring finger, and he looked one second away from just grabbing the next person and caving in their skull. “Excuse me-”

“And just who the fuck are you pal? I’m here on a date so leave before I kick your ass.” Jay pulled his badge out from underneath the collar of his shirt and sat down across from him. “Give me your driver’s licence, please.” The douche (as Jay would call him for the rest of his life) handed it over pretty damn quick, he waved the waitress over. “This man is going to need his bill immediately, please.” She nodded quickly and darted off, then Jay pulled out his phone. “Hey Burgess, I need you to run a name for me. Arthur Garrett. Two t’s. Okay, thanks. Can you send down a couple of officers for me?” He waited until the bill was paid and backup arrived before speaking again. “Mr. Garrett, stand up and turn around. You are under arrest for failure to pay child support and failure to attend court. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you.” After the handoff, he saw his least favourite thing in the entire world. Sylvie crying.

“He had an arrest warrant out, he’s being taken to detainment now. I’m sorry this happened to you Syl, you don’t deserve it.”

“I just feel so stupid.”

“Well don’t, you weren’t even the one who set up the date. Can I ask you a favour though? Let me do a check on everyone you go on a date with, please. I’ll worry a lot less.”

“After tonight? You have a deal.”

“Oh thank God, I was worried I’d have to try and convince you.” He leaned over the console to kiss her cheek, he looked into her expressive eyes and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ears. Neither of them realized how close their faces were until Jay went to speak and their lips brushed together, in a feather-light touch. “We, uh, we were going to order a bunch of pizzas for dinner. It doesn’t look like you got to eat, would you like to join us?”

“That sounds great.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THREE WEEKS AGO

Sylvie had gone back to Fowlerton to spend the holidays with her parents and brother, and Jay stayed in Chicago to celebrate with his brother’s family. Will was in the kitchen with Helen, he and a very pregnant Natalie were watching the looney tunes version of ‘A Christmas Carol’ in the living room with Owen. It wasn’t until Jay thought, about ten minutes into the movie, that Sylvie would love to watch this and he’d have to add this to their movie marathon lost for when she got back that he realized just how much he missed her. Her demeanour, her personality, the way she made him feel warm and fuzzy without much effort. And then he had another, much more startling realization. “I’m in love with Sylvie.” Beside him, Natalie snorted and Helen called from the kitchen “congrats on being literally the last person to know.”

“What? How did my brother’s mother-in-law-in-law know before I did?”

“She follows you on Facebook, remember? Basically everything you post is Sylvie, about Sylvie, or Sylvie related. And vice versa, I see the way she looks at you, she’s into you too.”

“It’s only been a few months, how am I in this deep?” Jay completely ignored his brother’s observation, he could barely register his feelings, he didn’t want to get his hopes up about hers.

“Take it from me, Jay, when the right person shows up it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known them or had a bond with them. If it feels good, go with it. It will only cause you pain to move away from it.”

“I don’t know if either of us are ready for that. The timings just not right.”

Nat covered Owen’s ears, “timing is a bitch.” She released a confused Owen who immediately zoned out looking at the tv again with a kiss on his tiny head, “if you don’t think that you’re ready, that’s fine. But don’t put anything down for timing or the universe, they’ll just mess you up.”

“Yeah... I’ll think about it.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ONE WEEK AGO

Sylvie had been all set to go camping with Gabby and Stella, she’d been so excited and Jay had spent the last three days with her helping her pack and hanging on to her every word. Watching flit around in a flurry of excitement for a girls week. He was sitting on her bed rolling up her light blue sleeping bag with white polka dots when she got a call from Gabby and her face fell. Lines and bumps moved their way on to her face which was carefree and bright only seconds ago. “Okay, Gabby. I hope you and Matt and Stella and Kelly have fun.”

“She cancelled the trip? Or cancelled you out of the trip?”

”She decided to make it couples only. She also took the opportunity to tell me that Antonio’s single again.”

“You know what? You are not going to be sad. Because you have a week off of work, and so do I because we worked too much OT the past two months. Let’s go to Universal Studios, I hear they expanded Harry Potter world.”

She smiled again. Bright and beaming and in a way that was just so, so her. “I’ll look at flights.”

Thanks to a bunch of last-minute deals, coupons, and first responder discounts they were on a plane bound for Florida in three hours. And when they got there, they went into prep mode for the next day, making sure that everything was ready to get up and go to the park, and they were so busy that neither of them noticed that there was only one bed until they were both drifting off to sleep, centimetres apart.

Waking up entangled in each other hadn’t been as awkward as either of them thought it would be. It was nice, warm. And it only got better as the week went on. They spent three days at Universal Studios, three at Universal Island Adventure, and one at Disney. Taking as much time as they could at each place. They went on every ride they could, multiple times, enjoyed all the themed food, took far more pictures than they had ever taken in their entire lives, and waited until the last day to buy any souvenirs because of how expensive everything was. They even held hands every day, Jay’s reasoning was so that Sylvie wouldn’t get separated from him but because of the time of year the population of the park was sparse compared to what it could have been. Sylvie knew this, knew that she didn’t have to hold his hand, but she wanted to. Badly. She didn’t care if it was only for while they were in Florida, she could pretend while they were there that they were more than friends. Because once they went home, she had to pretend that she didn’t love him with all her heart. But honestly, they had the time of their lives. Fun, food, and unresolved romantic tension. What could be better? It was their last day in Florida, their rental car was already loaded up with their stuff and after the fireworks display at Disney they were headed back to Chicago. 

Sylvie’s hair was mussed from the long day, and while she looked tired, she couldn’t take her eyes off of the display. And Jay couldn’t take his eyes off Sylvie. The multi-coloured lights were reflected in her eyes and the wind was blowing her hair gently. Sylvie could feel him staring at her and when she turned to ask him was what wrong, she stopped, her words dying in her throat. Jay’s entire soul was playing through his eyes. It was as if there was a tether connecting the two of them. Neither of them could turn away or blink. And Jay just went for it. He leaned down and kissed her with all the emotion his body possessed. The kiss making Sylvie feel weak in her knees. She wrapped her arms around his neck in part to stabilize himself, and in part to pull him closer. They’d missed the rest of the display just holding each other, but neither of them could bring themselves to care.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PRESENT DAY

Dr. Choi had been assigned to Jay. He raised an eyebrow at Sylvie seated on the bed beside him but made no comment, paying heed to the words of wisdom Maggie had just bestowed upon him, “she’s the only reason he’ll behave and accept treatment.”

“Alright, while I’m happy you’re not here with a bullet wound detective Halstead, coming back after a fight wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I said ‘avoid lead’.”

“And deprive you of my charming personality?”

“Yeah, yeah. Now follow my finger, let’s hope you don’t have a concussion.”

It had only taken about twenty minutes to determine that Jay, miraculously, didn’t have a concussion or any broken bones. Just a lot of swelling and bruises. “Thanks, Choi.”

“No problem, while you are discharged and free to go, you can’t travel yourself, I’m actually you can see with how swollen the areas around your eyes are.”

“That’s no problem, I’ll drive him home.”

“Alright, good. Remember Jay, desk duty for a week.”

“Ugh, I’m already bored.”

“I’m sure you are, now let’s go. I want to leave before a Dawson comes barreling in here, cause I might start swinging punches too.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next week Jay avoided Antonio, not intentionally though. After hearing what happened Voight decided to keep Halstead in the basement as much as possible for his desk duty. While it was boring and agitating not being in the field, Sylvie made sure to send him as many hilarious snapchats as possible, many of which consisted of her hiding in ridiculous places to avoid Gabby. The photo that had offended the Dawsons so greatly sat framed on his temporary desk. Apparently, the people behind them at the fireworks display their last day there thought they were so cute that they took a couple of pics during and after their kiss, but the new couple had left before they could be asked for contact info for the pictures. Luckily, they’d overheard them before the fireworks display talking about how while they were sad to go back to Chicago that night, the fire and police departments desperately needed them to keep their partners in line. It had been an amusing joke to Sylvie and Jay, but a way to post the photos for the people behind them. The Dawsons were already pissed that Jay was ‘moving in on Antonio’s girl’, but when they saw the photos on Facebook, with that mother posting the, admittedly gorgeous, pictures with the tags for CPD and CFD, looking for them so that the ‘adorable couple’ could have pictures from their first kiss, they were both livid. Gabby unleashing all of her fury, most of which was for unrelated things, on Sylvie at Molly’s, while Antonio just started punching.

It all came to a head when Jay was picking up Sylvie from her shift after he had finally been cleared to drive and go back to work. “Hey, you.”

“Hello, gorgeous.” Their quick peck was stopped by Gabby darting in between them and physically pushing them apart.”How can the two of you do this to Antonio? He still loves you Sylvie, even after all this, how can you-”

“Okay, you know what Gabby? You need to shut the fuck up.”

“Brett-”

“Uh-uh. I am talking now. Antonio screwed up. He lost his chance with me. So not only do you need to stop trying to meddle in my love life, but you need to stop feeling entitled to it. You have no say in who I do or do not date. End of discussion. No, ifs, ands, or buts. I am honestly at my wit’s end with you. I don’t even consider you a friend anymore because of how poorly you’ve been treating me.”

“Bu-”

“And don’t pull any more of that ‘but you dated my brother’ crap. I only did so at your encouragement. And I seriously regret dating him because of how much trouble you two are causing for me now because I choose to have a life and not let the end of my relationship with Antonio be the end of me. You need to leave me alone. I’ve already reported you to HR. I had no other choice after you locked me in the ambo for hours today without my phone or radio and wouldn’t let me out unless I got back with your brother. Goodbye Dawson. I’ll see you next shift.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THREE MONTHS LATER

Sylvie and Gabby were finally back on speaking terms, but took them a while to get there. Natalie and Hailey had become her best friends. They both understood how awful it was for someone to feel entitled to your love life, and how much gossipy coworkers who were closer than peas in a pod knew how to affect you more than anyone else. 51 had originally been avoiding taking sides, something that Sylvie was grateful for, and she made sure they knew she’d never ask them to choose. Everything, barring their relationships with Antonio and Gabby, went back to normal. Stella was asking for details about Jay, Cruz, Otis, Hermann, and Boden cornered him at Molly’s one night and threatened him, Upton told Sylvie plainly that she wasn’t allowed to hurt Jay, and the two made each other their emergency contacts. Jay also made stops by the firehouse with doughnuts from the place just around the corner from the 21st district. Sylvie, a secretly amazing cook, also dropped by the station with homemade food for the unit and Trudy on long nights.

Molly’s, in a bid to get more customers, started having trivia nights. Sylvie and Jay were practically vibrating in excitement because the trivia night that night was for Harry Potter.

“What did Draco steal from Neville during flying lessons in the first movie?”

“A remembrall!”

“What was the name of Hermione’s cat?”

“Crookshanks!”

“What was the device Hermione used to go back in time during the third movie?”

“A time turner!”

“Okay, and the winning pair is... Sylvie Brett and Jay Halstead! And can I just say that even though I work at 51 and not at the 21st district, I feel like I should have known that detective I-am-a-badass-army-ranger-and-can-kill-you-twelve-different-ways-with-a-pencil-eraser Halstead was such a nerd!” There was a roar of laughter from everyone including Jay. “Laugh all you want, being a nerd is how I got my amazing girlfriend.”

“Damn right it is.” A celebratory kiss was met with cheers from the tipsy group. “Alright, alright, stop making out with my honourary sister and come get your gift card to the aquarium.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EIGHT MONTHS LATER

Jay was trying to be sensitive to Antonio, really, he was. He put his photos of Sylvie in his locker, not on his desk, he took calls from her in another room. He didn’t talk about her with anyone from the unit. Sylvie was like an entity of golden light, anyone would be a fool to mistreat her or let her go, and Jay knew that both of the Dawson siblings were beating themselves up over their mistakes. But now Jay was pissed. Did he really think that Jay was so stupid he wouldn’t spot him at the table three rows down from them? That he wouldn’t make sure to take a closer look at the man sitting alone in a restaurant designed for dates, wearing all black, with a baseball cap and shades? And that was seriously the worst disguise, too. He could see numerous other couples and the staff take notice of him and they all looked concerned. Hell, even Sylvie noticed him the second he walked in! So they had decided in a little bit of revenge. They normally wouldn’t display PDA above hand-holding or a quick kiss, but tonight they’d made an exception. They were going all out, even choosing to sit on the same side so not only did Antonio have a clear view of both of them, but Jay would lean down and nibble on Sylvie’s neck, Sylvie would lean close to his ear and whisper in his ear, far, far too much physical contact. Oh, and kisses with tongue, can’t forget those when trying to make someone immensely uncomfortable.

They kept it up all throughout dinner and dessert. At some point in between appetizers and receiving the dessert menu, the PDA stopped being an act. They started riling each other up, enjoying what they were doing to each other. They finished dessert incredibly aroused, and paid the bill as quickly as possible. Jay was vaguely aware of Antonio following them but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

They made it to Jay’s apartment in record time and started ripping off each other’s clothes the second the door was locked. Jay lofted Sylvie up and carried her into his bedroom with Sylvie distracting him, kissing and biting his neck. Once they made it there everything happened slow and steamy, with Sylvie screaming Jay’s name multiple times, Jay purring and growling in her ear. They were vaguely aware of someone pounding on the apartment door, whoever it was (Antonio) had been doing so since Jay and Sylvie locked the door. But they didn’t care. They only focused on each other. They let him knock.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Brring, brring*

“Mhm, Halstead.”

“Halstead, we caught a case in Humble Park. Meet Upton there.”

“Sure thing Voight.” He hung up and stared at Sylvie for a moment, taking in her soft skin, mussed hair, and even breathing. He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. “I love you, Sylvie Brett.”

“Mmm, I love you more, Jay Halstead.”

“Did I wake you?”

“Your phone did. You want me to make you some breakfast while you get in the shower?”

“That would be great.” He kissed her, revelling in the feeling of his naked body against hers first thing in the morning.

Jay walked onto the scene with a spring in his step, homemade breakfast in his stomach, and a reusable take-out cup filled with amazing coffee. “You’re looking happy Halstead. How’s Sylvie?”

“She’s great. She made these egg muffins, they’re really good, she sent a few in a container for you if you want them.”

“I absolutely want them. Sylvie is so sweet.”

“She really is.”

“You are so smitten.”

“I am, I uh, I’m actually thinking about proposing.”

“Oh my god, that’s huge!”

“Do you think she’d say yes?”

“Oh, she definitely would.”

“I haven’t had a chance to talk to Nat yet, but would you come with me to help pick out a ring?”

“You got it.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jay was beyond nervous, but he was ready. He was ready for Sylvie to be his fiance, then his wife, then the mother of his children. Sylvie was just getting dressed and then they were heading to the park for an Irish festival, which would end in green fireworks. “Hey!” Sylvie jumped out from their bedroom in a deep green knee-length dress. “What do you think?”

“You look absolutely gorgeous. Seriously, I have absolutely no idea how I got lucky enough to date you.”

Later, just before the fireworks were about to begin, after they’d spent the whole day dancing and eating, Jay led Sylvie to a spot on a hill that two officers had been guarding for him, courtesy of Trudy. “This is an amazing spot, Jay. What did you have to bribe Trudy with to keep it?”

“Permission to take pictures and a speech if you say yes.”

“Yes to what- oh my god.”

“Sylvie Brett. You are the light of my life, I have never been this happy before and it’s all because of you. I love you so much and I want you to be my everything for the rest of our lives. So please, Sylvie, will you marry me?”

“Yes, of course, YES!” Jay slid the ring Natalie and Hailey had help him choose onto her finger, then he jumped up, wrapped her in his arms and twirled her in the air. He stopped, still holding her, Sylvie caressed his face lovingly before leaning down and kissing the love of her life. Completely ignoring the fireworks behind them, and the camera shutters in front of them. They were getting their happy ending, and they were going to love every second of it.


	2. Natalie Manning x Stella Kidd

They had absolutely no idea how they ended up there. Well, that wasn’t strictly true... Molly’s and ladies’ nights. And tequila, tequila was definitely at fault here. For their hangovers and their nudity under the covers. Unfortunately, the tequila didn’t take their memories, so they knew exactly what they did. Or who they did, rather. And the answer was each other.

After Natalie’s awkward exit from Stella’s apartment above the Hermann house, Stella made quick work of the dirty dishes from their breakfast. She couldn’t help but think back to the previous night. They were so drunk, but Natalie was so hot and Stella just felt something inside her snap. It had felt like a coil, but everything that she and Nat did last night, it all just felt so right, so satisfying. She felt like she was on a high. There was no way she was going to last long without having sex with Natalie again, she could already feel herself going crazy.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As it turned out, she wasn’t the only one feeling that way. And so, their friends with benefits relationship began. Stella was a bit nervous, she had a two-year-old son and a pretty crazy mother in law. But it felt so right. Until it felt more than right, and both women knew they were in trouble. It started with cuddling after sex and lead to watching movies in the afternoon and lingering touches and longing looks. But one rainy Sunday afternoon, they were cuddled on Natalie’s brand new GRÖNLID, and suddenly it just hit both of them. They were dating, in secret, but dating. Natalie licked her lips and looked Stella in the eye. “Will you go on a date with me?” Stella cradled her face gingerly, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “I would love to.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It became obvious to Helen very quickly that Natalie was seeing someone, and the thought made her stomach heavy. She knew it wasn’t fair of her to hate the idea of Natalie moving on, but she couldn’t help it. She only had one son. She only wanted one son. And he was gone.

So when Owen was picked up by someone else while Natalie was at work, months after Helen knew she had officially begun dating him, Helen lost it. Her mouth turned bitter as she drove to the hospital, fully prepared to scream at her daughter-in-law in front of her coworkers. When she got to MED she barely remembered to throw her car in park before slamming the door and marching past everyone. The people waiting, nurses, secretaries, the only one who was able to stop her was Maggie. “Helen, hi. How are you? You know you can’t be back here right?”

“I’m here to see Natalie, move.”

“Okay, no. You do not get to speak to me like that ever, much less so in my ED. Drop the attitude. Now.”

“It’s too soon, Maggie, it’s only been-”

“Four years. It has been four years Helen, I’m not going to pretend I know what you’re going through, but I know that it is absolutely no excuse for acting the way you are. You are not entitled to Natalie’s love life, and you still haven’t apologized to me. And since you’re not in an emergency medical situation and I do not feel like dealing with your BS right now, you need to leave.”

“Maggie you can’t-”

“I’ll call security.”

“Don’t interfere with something that-”

“Security, escort this woman off the premises, please and thank you.” The two security guards Maggie had summoned with a raised eyebrow ended up dragging Helen out kicking and screaming. All while Natalie watched in heartbreak. Was it really that awful that she didn’t want to be alone and empty for the rest of her life?

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because of the incident at MED Nat and Stella decided it was time to sit Helen down and tell her that they were dating and to get over herself. Helen entered in a huff, somewhat pleased with herself that she finally got Natalie to admit she was seeing someone, but she would be lying her ass off if she said she wouldn’t give whoever this guy was shit for sneaking around with a widow. She didn’t see him though, only a Latina woman in a mustard sweater and jeans. “Alright, where is he?”

“Sit down Helen, you don’t’ get to talk to me that way.” Helen threw herself down onto the same chair she’d tossed her jacket and purse on while Natalie sat beside the woman on the light green couch. Helen felt all her rage and grief evaporate as she watched the two women intertwined hands. “I’m bisexual, Helen. So is Stella. I didn’t figure it out really until I met her. I guess a part of me always knew but I kind of ignored it, because, well, you know how people discriminate against LGBTQ people. But, she makes me so, so happy. And Owen just loves her.”

“Oh thank God.”

“Huh?”

“What?”

“Oh, I don’t care about sexualities, really. Love is love and anyone who tries to limit the love of others is a fool and a monster. Truthfully, this is a relief. I was so scared that you’d found a man to replace Jeff. You dating a woman is actually a lot more comfortable for me. I already approve.”

“While I’m glad Stella’s got your stamp of approval, you have to understand that your behaviour recently is unacceptable, right? You are not entitled to anything, and you owe both me and Maggie apologies.”

“You’re... Right. Completely right. There isn’t an excuse or a reason, not a good one anyway. I’m so sorry Natalie. Really, I am... That... That psychiatrist you work with, Dr. Charles, does he, uh, is he accepting patients? I think, I mean I’ve put it off for so long, I think it’s time that I talk to someone. About everything.”

“That sounds like a good idea, Helen, I’ll talk to him tomorrow for you.”

“Thank you. Now Stella, you’ve been very quiet during all this, I’d like to get to know you. What do you do?- Oh! And how long have you two been dating?”

“I’m a firefighter, and we’ve been dating for- eight months?”

“Around that, yeah.”

“That’s wonderful, how do you like being a firefighter?”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Helen apologized to everyone and started therapy, things got much calmer. She also became Stella and Natalie’s biggest supporter. Like tonight, she was always offering to babysit for date nights, and the couple took full advantage of that. They were dining out at an intimate restaurant, glad for some time with just the two of them. “So I read this story on Reddit on my break today about this guy who, completely sober, was shoving a toilet brush up his... You know, so that it looked like he had a bunny tail. You guys ever get anything crazy like that?”

“Yeah actually, we’ve got this frequent flyer for ambo who regularly gets high off his ass, draws weird, nonsensical symbols all over his body, then call to complain that he was assaulted by aliens.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah, hey, I found The Italian Job on Netflix, the one with Jason Statham. Wanna watch it when we get back?”

“Oh, absolutely. I love his movies.”

“I know right?”

“He’s like the British Ryan Reynolds.”

“Yes! Exactly!”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TWO YEARS LATER

Stella was just finishing up with the snacks for Owen’s fifth birthday party when the Hermann Horde arrived. “Hey guys! Nat’s just about done with the decorations, but she and Owen are out back.”

“When does Helen get here?”

“She should be here in fifteen, she picked up the cake from the bakery.”

“I thought you were a pretty good baker Stella, why from a bakery?”

“I can bake many things, but a cake for forty people that looks like a shark? Nope. Not that.”

“Owen really likes the ocean, doesn’t he?” Cindy looked around at all the ocean-themed decorations, the snacks dressed up to look like different sea creatures. “He really does, can’t say I blame him though. We go to the aquarium pretty frequently, and damn these little guys are amazing and beautiful.” They placed the last of the jellyfish sugar cookies on the platter and smiled. She really felt like Owen was her son, and as far as anyone was concerned, she was. It would even be official in a couple of months when she and Nat get married. “I love seeing you happy like this Stella.”

“Thanks, Cindy. It feels good.”

“It looks good too, you’re both just so bright and sometimes I swear that Natalie’s glowing.” Stella kissed the older woman on the cheek, biting her lip to keep from revealing that Natalie was glowing, and that they’d be welcoming another member into their family in around eight months.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TWO MONTHS LATER

Natalie and Stella were overjoyed, they were finally wife and wife, recognized by the state as a family. Hearts full and warm, they danced in slow graceful circles, the skirts of both their gowns flowing in cloud-like motions around them. “I love you.”

“I love you too. So much.” The music from the orchestra trickled to an end, parting the smiling brides. “Ready to tell them?”

“Yes. I am so excited.” Kisses were exchanged before the blushing brides made their way up to the stage with their arms around each others’ waist. “First of all, we would like to thank everyone for being here to celebrate the best day of our lives.”

“Second of all, we have an announcement to make. Nat’s three months pregnant.” Stella and Natalie placed their hands over Nat’s abdomen, smiling misty tears as they were met with cheers from all of their family and friends, no one louder than Owen.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FIVE YEARS LATER

While working in the ED Natalie had been a witness to numerous tragedies. She’d also been through a few herself. And Maggie, wise, gentle, loving, Maggie, always knew when the worst of the worst were about to come through. She got this look on her face as she answered the head nurse's phone, meaning that it was someone they all knew. After a few whispered words with Ms. Goodwin Maggie’s guilt-ridden gaze settle on Natalie. “Nat, I need you to go wait in the doctor’s lounge.”

“Maggie? What’s going on?” In the back of her mind, in the depths of her heart, Natalie knew what was wrong. But she didn’t want to be right. She wanted to be so, so wrong. “Dr. Conte,” Natalie had realized two months into her and Stella’s relationship that she still had the name she took when she married Jeff at twenty years old and decided to go back to her maiden name. “You need to go wait in the doctor’s lounge.”

“Sharon, no-”

“Incoming! Thirty-three-year old female, firefighter, inside an electrical fire when the house went. Halstead, Noah, April, you’re in treatment three.” The sounds of beeps and medical jargon couldn’t be heard above the buzzing in Natalie’s ears. Choi was holding her back, trying to drag her to the doctor’s lounge, stopping her from being with her wife. And then her BP dropped and she flatlined. The instructions given could not be heard by anyone outside of the room over Natalie’s horrified, deafening, soul-shattering scream.

And then it was back. One round of epi and she was back. Natalie broke down into heaving, gut-wrenching sobs in Ethan’s arms. He was the only thing keeping her from sliding to the floor, her legs had lost all their strength.

She didn’t remember sitting down, or getting any water or food. But suddenly she feels like she’s woken up and she has a bottle of water and thermos in her hands. “Eat.” Kelly Severide is beside her with a hand on her shoulder. Sylvie is handing her a spoon. Joe is handing her tissues. “Cindy and Helen are watching Owen and Celeste, don’t worry.” She’s drunk the entire water bottle and eaten five spoonfuls of soup when Maggie approaches her. “Maggie don’t tell me she’s gone- oh God, please no-”

“She’s fine. They’re closing her up now, she’ll recover just fine. Come on, I’ll take you to her recovery room. And bring that thermos. You’re going to finish eating even if I have to tie you down and feed you myself.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Nat?” Stella had woken up, for good this time, and was staring at the love of her life as Connor and Crockett left the room. “You scared me. So, so much.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just be alive. Please, just stay alive.” Nat kissed her forehead and stroked her hair as all her tears just couldn’t be held back anymore. “I know you love being a firefighter, and I love it too, I will never want you to give up a job that you are so kickass at, but please, please be more careful. I’m begging you.”

“Okay... I’ll be more careful.” Stella’s coughing fit was cured by a glass of water, and the aches in her bones were cured by the gentle hugs from her son and daughter when they saw her an hour later. “I love you.” She chanted to each of them. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” And she did, until she and Natalie were in their eighties and living in Fowlerton. They were found by their neighbour who went to check on them after he didn’t see them on their porch like he did every morning. Still. Peaceful. Tangled together. In love until their very last breaths.


	3. Matt Casey x Kelly Severide

“Oh my God!!!!”

“Shit.”

“Fuck.”

“My eyes!!!!!!!! I need brain bleach!”

“Benny, I’m sorry you had to see that, I, uh, I know I should have told that- about-well.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, I know you’re sexually attracted to men, Kelly.” Kelly felt his heart go cold at his father’s words, he’d been terrified of this, and not even Matt’s comforting hand on his back made him feel better. He opened his mouth to speak, yell, defend himself, say something that would make his tears evaporate, but he didn’t get the chance because Benny spoke again. “I don’t care, Kelly, okay? I don’t care that you like men, what I care about is that I just saw my son butt naked having sex. Ugggghhhh. I am never going to get that image out of my head.” Benny shuddered, continuing to pace back and forth. “That’s it? That’s the only reason you’re freaking out?”

“Yes Kelly, that’s the only reason I’m,” more shuddering, “just give me a minute. And vodka. And don’t think you’re going anywhere blondie, I still have to threaten you in case you hurt my son.” Matt raised his hands in shock, he’d only been going to get the vodka that they all clearly needed to have this conversation. 

“Kelly, here’s your vodka. Uh, Mr. Severide, here’s yours. And uh, what’s ‘brain bleach’?”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After that hellishly awkward conversation, Benny interrogated and threatened Matt while Kelly went out to grab some breakfast for the three of them. Even though he and Benny weren’t close, Kelly was grateful that Benny didn’t care about his sexuality. He knew that a lot of smoke eaters would be livid, he was just glad that the man he begrudgingly admired wasn’t one of them.

Boden didn’t care either, just had HR forms for them to fill out. And a month later, honestly, it was a miracle 51 didn’t find out sooner, when they told the house about their relationship they were met with smiles and congratulations from all but two. Hermann and Mouch. Mouch was sweet, but he didn’t know how to act at first. How to process the new social etiquette surrounding what could and could not be said. Hermann was the problem. Rude mutterings, avoidance, suspicious glares, refusing to even be in the changeroom when either of them were. It was causing tension and heartbreak. Hermann was something of an uncle to the two men, and it hurt them that he was suddenly treating them differently because they were dating.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a Mediterranean restaurant a few blocks away from 51 that was owned and run by an elderly gay couple. Matt and Kelly found themselves eating their food frequently, it had become something of a safe place for them. They entered and were greeted by Christopher Hermann talking to the two Greek men at the bar. Alec and Barak were nodding along to each other’s words and Christopher was clearly listening in detail. A waitress, Jess, they’d learned after coming here so many times, sat them down at their regular table with menus and the promise to return with coffee.

They tried not to feel awkward in a place they considered theirs, but that was somewhat difficult when it became obvious Hermann had seen them. But they didn’t react. They were more tense, sure, but they didn’t react. Their meal didn’t provide the peace and respite it usually did, unfortunately. They ate their food in relative silence, and they didn’t get to talk to Alec or Barak because they were busy having a sometimes solemn, sometimes heated discussion with Hermann.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next shift they were met with a subdued Hermann. He wasn’t talking much and honestly, they were thankful. Neither of them thought they could take any more hits from him. 

Squad Three, Truck Eighty-One, Engine Fifty-one, Ambulance Sixty-One, Explosion at CCU Chemistry Building.

Everyone ran to their gear and vehicles and did what they could to prevent the dread from settling in their stomachs. What they arrived to was worse than they feared. Thick, black smoke was circling upwards and stark against the clear blue sky. Students and faculty were pouring out of the building, frantic and coughing. “Hey, do you know what happened?” The woman grabbed Casey’s arm so hard he knew it was going to bruise. “Bad chemical reaction in the C wing, third floor.”

“Didn’t they just finish rebuilding this place from the fire during the infection?”

“Dispatch, please be advised we need an EMS plan six. As many ambos as you can spare for triage, extra truck and squad companies, and hazmat. ASAP.”

“Copy Battalion 25.” Boden wasted no more time, he began ordering everyone around, and Hermann got one look at how much Casey and Severide meant to each other when they clasped hands quickly just before running into the burning building.

He saw it again in the look on Casey’s face three months later when Severide wasn’t responding to his radio.

And again, when Matt ended up at MED with a cut down his side from debris at a factory fire.

And again, when Gabby came back and didn’t react well and neither man gave two shits.

And again, when they adopted a Dalmatian named Cerberus.

And again, at their wedding surrounded by family and friends where he knew he had realized correctly that there was no better couple than Matt Casey and Kelly Severide three years ago in a Greek restaurant.


	4. Natalie Manning x Matt Casey

It was Halloween, a favourite holiday in the Manning household. Natalie was just adjusting Owen’s firefighter costume when trick or treaters came to the door. “I’ve got it, Natalie, you two go, we’ll have dinner when you guys get back.”

“Alright, thanks, Helen.” Natalie felt somewhat awkward walking around in a dalmatian onesie, but the smile it brought to her son’s face made it worth it. They lived in 51’s district and Nat always made a point of stopping by, but not only this would be the first year that Owen got to choose his own costume, it was also eight months after Natalie and Matt started dating. Owen had a small plastic Jack o’ lantern pail, Nat wanted to somewhat limit the amount of candy he got. He was only four, he didn’t need excessive amounts of sugar. They gleefully made their way down the two streets in between their house and the firehouse. And when they finally made it, Matt was putting more candy in the firehouse’s candy bowl. He had just finished emptying the plastic bag into the massive plastic cauldron when he noticed the Mannings approach. “Oh my, well hello Owen. And what are you dressed as?”

“I’m a firefighter!”

“You are, huh? It looks very real too. How about I give you some candy and take you and your,” cue the rare but conniving Casey smirk, “dalmatian inside? See how you look in the firetrucks?”

“Can I mom? Please?” 

“That sounds like a great idea.”

“Firehouse 51! We have some special visitors on the apparatus floor!” The remaining members of 51 made their way out by the firetrucks and burst out into laughter and smiles. “Nat! You look so great!” Sylvie made her way over with her cellphone and cat ears headband to take a selfie with the slightly embarrassed doctor. “And did you bring us a candidate?” Kelly kneeled down and gave the small boy a high five. “Let’s get you in one of the trucks, huh?” The next fifteen minutes were spent with Natalie and Owen basically having a photoshoot with firehouse 51. When Amy, Boden’s new secretary, kept coming up with new poses for everyone Nat decided to bow out for a few pictures and sneak a piece of her son’s candy. When she went to grab one of the four pieces Matt had given Owen she let out a startled shriek. She covered her mouth quickly and realized everyone was looking at her. “Mom?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I just realized... that you don’t have enough candy, honey, we’ll have to do another street before going home.”

“More candy! Yes!” Matt chuckled from his seat behind the boy. “Casey? Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Uh, sure. Here. Joe looks like it’s your turn.”

“Pictures with the famous Owen Manning? Yes please!”

Natalie pulled Matt aside when he reached her and she showed him the ‘candy’ she’d found in the pail. “What- holy hell, are those condoms?!”

“Yes! I realized that it was a mistake but you put Halloween themed condoms in with my son’s candy... Matt, the rest of the cauldron!” Natalie dropped the pail and both she and the blonde firefighter ran to the unmanned table outside. They got there just as a group of friends and their parents arrived. “Hi! Uh, I’ll hand you the candy instead of you grabbing it yourself, how’s that?” Matt snatched the large plastic container away from the table as a child was about to grab some... Items not appropriate for their age. Yeah. Let’s go with that. Matt weaved around the massive pile of condoms on top of all the candy and grabbed a fair amount of pieces for each kid. The parents looked a little perplexed but didn’t question it. The oldest kid, maybe eight in a Darth Vader costume, did however question Natalie’s costume. “I thought firehouses were supposed to have real dalmatians, not people in dalmatian costumes. What happened to Tuesday?”

“Oh, I’m just... The mascot. Filling in for Tuesday... Because she’s trick or treating tonight.”

“Really?”

“Yup.” Matt stood wide-eyed and nervous in front of the parents’ now concerned gazes. One mother in particular was staring him down before realization dawned on her face. “... You guys just wanted some candy for yourselves, didn’t you?”

“You caught us. We got a couple of bags of candy for ourselves too but a couple of firefighters ate all of it by themselves.”

“Really? Well, I’m glad you’re getting some now. Candy is important you know.” Darth Vader sounded very serious, nodding definitively as they turned to follow the rest of their group who had started to move on. The two adults let out a breath. “Okay, here,” Matt untucked the front of his shirt and held it out so Natalie could place all the condoms in it. She hurried, hoping that she grabbed all of them, she stood up off the ground and put the cauldron back on the table as more people approached. There must have been one hundred condoms at least, and they both hoped that the parents accompanying their children hadn’t seen what was in the pouch Matt had made out of his shirt. The plan was to throw them out at the first trash can they came across, but they ran into Severide who wiggled his eyebrows at them. “Well do you two have a fun evening planned or what?” Blushes bloomed on both of their faces as the rest of the firehouse came over with Owen and saw what Matt was carrying. “I just thought it was a bag of candy, turns out it was a bag of condoms.” Owen was distracted by Tuesday, and Nat was thankful. She did not want to explain what a condom was to him at four years old. “You don’t have to be embarrassed guys, we can watch Owen for a few minutes if you want.” Sylvie was smirking like the Cheshire cat and the rest of the house were giggling like high schoolers. Matt coughed awkwardly, “I, uh, I... Am going to throw these out.”

“Don’t even think about it! They’re supposed to be for the party at Molly’s tonight.”

“Why were they here and not at Molly’s then? And why did the packaging look like Halloween candy packaging?”

“Well to embarrass you, of course, my dear captain.”

“Oh, haha, very funny Hermann. Take them, and put them in your locker, please.” Matt looked more like a tomato than a human as Hermann pulled out the front of his shirt just like Casey did. There was some fumbling but they got all of them transferred, except for one... Which fell in front of Owen. “Mom, what’s this? I don’t know this type of candy.”


	5. Connor Rhodes x Sarah Reese

Sarah used to love Halloween. Her favourite nanny, Katya, used to be a seamstress and so she would hand make Sarah’s costumes. Sarah had loved it so much that she’d actually gotten the older woman to teach her how to sew, something that came in handy later in life for suturing, and she had been making her own costumes since Katya left to pursue another career. But as she got older new problems arose. Starting at fourteen she was expected to dress in... Revealing costumes. And Sarah did not like that, first of all, it was disgusting to expect women to dress in ‘slutty’ costumes, and second, it was appalling that the expectation was pressured on them so young. So the magic of Halloween she’d loved as a kid shattered, she didn’t even dress up for the holiday anymore unless it was for a costume party where she knew it would be appreciated. That Halloween, she was working in the ED. Even worse, it was the night shift. That meant the usual hell of calling time of death and cranky nurses, while also dealing with drunk morons who use Halloween as an excuse to fuck shit up.

Most of the usual ED staff wasn’t scheduled that night, they were here during the day which had been bad enough, but Sarah, Ethan, Connor, and Ava were all working doubles. Ethan was still avoiding April after their breakup and Noah was helping move her stuff out of their apartment that night before heading to Molly’s, Connor had requested it for some unknown reason, and Ava stayed because she and her girlfriend had gotten into a bad fight but she was using a patient’s touch-and-go condition as an excuse. Sarah downed her sixth coffee before stepping back out into the pits of hell. Connor wasn’t in the ED, probably went back up to the cardiology wing to help with Ava’s patient. Their relationship had improved drastically when Ava figured out she’s gay. It wasn’t something that was accepted in South Africa so she repressed it, even in Chicago, until she met Emily Foster. Ethan was sitting behind a computer with nurses bustling behind him, glaring at his computer screen. Sarah suspected it had less to do with whatever he was reading and more to do with whatever Doris was gossiping about right behind him.

Doris was an excellent nurse. Intelligent, experienced, and sympathetic when necessary. Unfortunately her sympathy did not extend to the other staff at MED whenever they were going through something gossip-worthy, read: deeply personal and often heartbreaking. Sarah had a basic amount of respect for her, but it didn’t expand past more than that since she heard her call Natalie the ‘ice princess’. The woman lost her husband and then found out she was pregnant a month later, had to deal with her mother-in-law constantly, all while continuing her fellowship, and Doris couldn’t say anything nice about her? And while she was right behind her. Another flaw of Doris’, she rarely kept stock of where anyone was in the ED at any given time so she usually ended up supplying MED’s gossip mill right in front of whoever it was about. It was distasteful, really.

“Dr. Reese, incoming, you’re going to treatment three.” 

“What do we have?” Sarah’s eyes began wandering the patient’s body, taking mental notes, as she listened to the debrief from Sylvie Brett and Gianna Mackey. “Male, 24, laceration on the forehead, we stopped the bleeding, but he lost consciousness once at the scene and three times on the way over. He was in a bar fight.”

“Okay, transfer on my count, 1, 2, 3. Good, thanks guys, be careful tonight.”

“You too, Reese.” And with that, the two paramedics left leaving her with a drunk patient and a couple of nurses. Sarah went through her usual checklist of examinations based on the physical exam, questions answered by the patient, and information from the paramedics. “Can you tell me your name?”

“My name’s Brad, am I terr yous anytingting yous wans tas know.”

“Well Brad, my name is Dr. Reese, does anything hurt?”

“Non, non, nona, yous a nurse, ot a-”

“I assure you Brad, I am a doctor, now can you please tell me if you’re feeling any pain and where?”

“Nursh, yous nursh. Where you fish nets? Ans I wants yous boobies.”

“Okay, let’s get him to CT and run a tox screen, his bandage is good for now and the wound is clear, I’ll stitch him up after we run the tests.”

“SOW ME YOUS BOOBIES!”

“... Are there any male nurses available?”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of Reese’s night went like that, drunken fools, high morons, and an absolutely swamped ED. Brad shockingly did not have a concussion, and was refusing to let Sarah stitch him up and send him out. She would have just let him sign out AMA, but his tox screen came back with copious amounts of alcohol and ecstasy in his system, so she couldn’t under good conscience let him sign out and leave without the proper treatment in his state. So he was moaning and groaning about... Everything and kept demanding a ‘real’ doctor. “Hey Sarah.” She turned to face him, her shoulder relaxing as she signed in relief at the sound of his voice. A beaming smile graced his features that immediately made Sarah’s day and she really wished that they could just stay like that for the rest of shift. Or eternity, either would do.

“Hi Connor, how are things up in cardiology?”

“Good, good, they don’t really need me up there so I came back down here. Were you scheduled for just the ED tonight or neuro as well?”

“Just the ED for tonight, I’ve been putting in more hours up there recently so Ms. Goodwin suggested a couple of doubles to catch up.”

“Ah, hey have you seen the movie ‘Knives Out’ yet?” Connor had tensed slightly, and was giving an odd amount of attention to an old coffee mug sitting on the nurse’s station, and a nervous look drained onto his face as he glanced between Sarah and literally anything else. Honestly, it bummed Srah out a little, working with Connor was the only silver lining she had while working the graveyard shift, and she’d be lying if she said that her heart didn’t hurt a little every time Connor looked less than ecstatic. She’d also be lying if she said she wasn’t head over heels in love with him.

“No, I just haven’t had the time! I have to keep running out of the room anytime my housemates talk about the movie so I don’t get any spoilers.”

“I still haven’t seen it either, maybe we could make a day of it, grab some dinner at that Thai place you like and then head over to that theatre by Navy Pier to watch it?”

“You know what Connor, that sounds like a great idea.” And just like that, Connor perked up, his smile was back and so was Sarah’s.

“Really? I mean-”

“Nursh! NURSH! NURSH REESH!” Connor cocked his eyebrow in annoyance in the direction of Brad’s room. Both at the interruption and at the language the man was using.“I keep telling him I’m not a nurse but he just won’t listen to me. And he’s in detox right now so we can’t discharge him yet.”

“Do you want some backup?”

“No, I’m good Connor, but thanks.” So Connor stayed in place as she drifted over to treatment three, his lips pursed together in worry. “Reese’ll be fine, man, she can take care of herself. And did I overhear incorrectly, or did you FINALLY ask Sarah Reese, third-year ED and neuro resident, out on a date?”

“... Shut up, Choi.” All the other man could do was let out a boisterous laugh, while Connor didn’t really appreciate that all the attention was on them now, or that he was being mocked for finally addressing his feelings, Connor had to admit, he hadn’t seen Choi laugh in a while, let alone so sincerely. So he cracked an embarrassed smile and chuckled along with him. “I’m happy that I won’t have to see you looking after like a lost puppy, but in all seriousness, Reese is like a little sister to me. I you hurt her I’ll string you up by your toes and make you eat your own kidney.” Choi’s eyes had gone completely devoid of amusement, they were hollow and dead serious, at that moment Choi looked how he did whenever he had to think about his time overseas. A pang of fear fluttered through his chest. “I’ll- ahm- I’ll keep that in mind.” Connor forced himself to break eye contact and Choi nodded definitively. The tension still hadn’t dissipated by the time Sarah got back. “You know, I used to love Halloween. I used to handmake all of the costumes. Now? Hate. It. Women are expected to dress in ‘slutty’ costumes, and every time I work the day of, before, or after Halloween, I get idiots who will ask why I’m not in my ‘proper uniform’, and some more idiots who are far too handsy. I just can’t wait for this shift to be over.” 

“I take it Brad is being a little too friendly, then?”

“Yeah, I just have to keep thinking ‘only one more hour, only one more hour’.”

“And you used to make your own costumes? They must have been great!”

“They were! When I was twelve I was Medusa, fourteen I was one of the Beauxbatons from ‘Harry Potter’, Poison Ivy when I was sixteen, I had a lot of awesome costumes over the years but those were my top three. Oh! I saved pictures to my phone, hold on.”

“Well, why don’t you still dress up? You clearly love it, and those costumes are amazing.”

“Other people have certain expectations for Halloween, as I mentioned before, and I started to get a lot of negative attention for it. So unless I’m going to a Halloween party that hasn’t been thrown by horny teenagers masquerading as adults, I just don’t dress up anymore.”

“I’m sorry Sarah. It’s a bit too late for this year, I think you’ve inspired me to throw a Halloween party next year.”

“Connor, you don’t have to do that just for me.”

“I know, which is why I’ll also be doing it for me. I used to like Halloween too, but like you said, it just gets so... Pervy when you grow up. I think it’d be really nice to have a Halloween where I can get excited about costumes again, it used to be my favourite part, too.”

“I’ll right, well I’ll keep my calendar open. For that one day, three hundred and sixty-four days from now.”

“That’s great. I look forward to it.”

“And as for our ‘Knives Out’ date, would you be free for it tonight?”

“Uh...” Connor was taken aback, he had asked her out, yes, but he wasn’t sure if it actually came across as a date. And he was too nervous to ask himself because he really liked Sarah, she had become one of his best friends and she truly had carved out her own spot in Connor’s heart, something he welcomed. “Unless... You didn’t ask me out and I just and I just made everything super awkward...” Connor could see Sarah start to internally chastise herself, so he gently grabbed her elbow before she could walk away, hope blooming inside of him. “I did ask you out on a date, and tonight sounds perfect.”

“Really?” Sarah smiled up at him and Connor couldn’t help but wonder what exactly he did to be lucky enough to have her in his life. “Yeah, really.”

“Well, I guess I’ll see you later tonight, Connor.”

“Yeah, you will.” And twenty minutes later, after both of their shifts had ended and they were free to go, they left smiling, excited for the future and not despising a mutually memorable holiday as much as they did going in.


	6. Hailey Upton x Kim Burgess

Instead of her alarm clock, it was the sound of retching in the bathroom that woke Kim up. She sighed, pinching her brows together. She didn’t need to ask why Hailey didn’t wake her up when she wasn’t feeling well, she’d been dating her long enough to know the answer. She grabbed a glass of water, a ginger ale from the fridge and a hair tie from their dresser. After tying back Hailey’s knotted and sweaty hair she sat on the bathtub next to her, rubbing her back. “Do you think you’re well enough to try some water? A ginger ale? We should get some fluids into you.”

“I’m-”

“And don’t you dare say that you’re ‘fine’.”

“... Let me wash out the taste of vomit in my mouth and then I’ll try the ginger ale.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course, Hailey, you know that-”

“No, I really just... Thank you. For taking care of me, for loving me, for everything. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ginger ale did not help, nor did the medicine she’d been able to keep down. Her fever spiked, she was so flushed her skin was an irritated pink, she’d gotten dizzy, and she started to hallucinate a talking dog wearing a lion costume. Kim had managed to corral her into the car but nothing, not even Dr. Choi when they got to MED, could calm her down. Her fiance was getting sicker and sicker and nothing was going to be able to quell the panic and fear inside of her. So she sat at Hailey’s beside, curled up in an awful chair, letting her tears flow freely as she cradled the hand of her unconscious soulmate. “Hey, Kim. I got your text. And pizza for you.”

“Pizza, Jay? Really?”

“Hailey would maim me if she found out I didn’t take care of you when she couldn’t. Seriously, we actually made a pact. So eat your food, drink this bottle of water and get ready to be fussed over. She’s gonna make it.”

“How do you know?”

“She’s my best friend, we’ve been through so much together that there’s no other option for me. She’s going to make it, she has to.”

“She has to.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hailey had woken up the next day, but only momentarily. She’d mumbled something about dancing tulips and promptly passed out again. Kim and Jay laughed lightly at her expense, but they were mostly just relieved that she was getting better. Her fever was down and according to Dr. Choi that was really good news. They wouldn’t be able to tell if the dizziness or nausea had dissipated until she woke up, but the fact that she was waking up was amazing. She’d caught a nasty strain of the flu, it was so bad and unusual that the CDC had to get involved. Study her treatment, interview close friends, get samples from Hailey. The works. They were actually starting to get pretty concerned about all the blood tests and tissue samples they needed when Will showed up with an explanation, the strain of flu that Hailey has isn’t from the U.S. so it was slightly different than the strains they’re used to treating, at that point they were just trying to determine where it was from and if they needed to be concerned about an outbreak. 

So Kim and Jay calmed down a bit. They were still worried, but having Will there to decipher all of the doctor speak, it was a little easier. When her fever broke they were approached by one of the CDC doctors who had been observing Hailey’s case. They could both tell from the look on her face that this was not going to be a pleasant conversation. “Detectives Burgess and Halstead, I’m afraid I have bad news. We have determined the origin of the strain that has infected Detective Upton. It’s from England, and it’s a unique strain because it appears to have been formed overtime from a few different strains from different countries, not uncommon in people who travel frequently without adequate vaccinations. We have determined a course of action, but unfortunately might be too late. The antibiotics that she needs need to start being taken within 72 hours. It’s been 61. And the closest antibiotics we could get are in London, England. It’s an eight hour flight and they have to go through customs and the FDA and they just might not get here in time. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She can’t- Why- No-” Tears were streaming down Kim’s face and she fell back into her chair. “This can’t be happening, we’re supposed to be together, have more time together. More time. Just a little more time, please.” Jay was standing beyond Kim’s chair, watching with a fractured soul as she stroked his best friend’s face and begged her to wake up. When suddenly, it dawned on him. “Dr. Tamara, do the antibiotics have to arrive on a commercial plane?”

“Well, no, but a private plane wouldn’t be faster and would cost a lot more money.”

“What about a military plane?” Hope was starting to creep into his desperate features, and instead of meeting sorrowful silence, he was met with mirroring spirits. “I don’t have those kinds of connections to make that happen, but if you do that would absolutely work.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jay managed to get the antibiotics on a military passenger/cargo flight from London to Chicago, almost halving the time everything would’ve taken. Kim hadn’t stopped hugging and thanking him since he got off the phone with an air force buddy he’d done a couple of operations with while he was in the rangers. The meds had been given with four hours to spare, so now both detectives were just a pile of nerves, antsy to see Hailey open her eyes. “For the last time Kim, you don’t need to thank me. Hailey’s important to me too, okay? I haven’t been holding onto that ring for her for the past four months for nothi- Shit.”

“... Ring?”

“Yes.”

“An engagement ring?”

“Yeah.” Kim turned back to the love of her life, happiness shining through for the first time in days, “you better wake up, Hailey Ann Upton. How am I gonna say ‘yes’ if you don’t even ask me?”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hailey woke up, and was lucid. Kim and Jay were trying so hard not to overwhelm her. So when Intelligence and firehouse 51 had stopped by they just smiled gratefully and accepted all of the get-well-soon gifts that were offered and sending everyone on their way. When Jay re-entered the hospital room after accepting a batch of cookies and containers of lasagna from the ever angelic Cindy Hermann, he found Kim and Hailey curled up in bed together. Smiling, whispering and just enjoying being in each other’s arms again. Kim blushed at his chuckles and Hailey grinned sheepishly. “I needed a cuddle from my favourite girl, Jay, what can I say?”

“She gave me her puppy-dog eyes. I had no choice.”

“Yeah,” he looked at Kim meaningfully, implying her to remember their conversation about Hailey’s not-so-secret intentions, “you didn’t really stand a chance.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jay dropped the two women off at their apartment a week later after Hailey had finally been discharged. “Thanks for dropping us off Jay, I appreciate it. And Hailey, you still have to take it easy, I’ll go put your hospital bag away and order some food and after Jay heads out we’ll have a Mamma Mia! Marathon, okay?”

“Alright, well my work here is almost done then.” He was met with two sets of raised eyebrows, so he turned his teasing smirk to his partner. “Someone has to make sure you don’t get up unsupervised while Kim’s in the other room.”

“Smart thinking, Halstead.”

“Hey! I’m capable of taking care of myself.” Kim jogged to the bedroom in a fit of laughter, leaving Hailey and Jay alone for a few moments. Jay leaned his body out to look down the hallway and make sure that Kim was out of earshot before he turned back to Hailey. She looked better than she did before, her pallor was back to normal, her eyes were vibrant, and she was glowing in happiness and relief, though her movements were still lapsed and slow. Jay reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the navy velvet ring box and placed it into her confused but waiting hand. “I accidentally let it slip when you were in the hospital. You should’ve seen her face when she caught on, she loves you. So much, and if these past couple of weeks have taught us anything, it’s that you don’t have the time you think you do. Ask her, she’ll say yes. I guarantee it.” After a one-armed hug with a shocked Hailey, Jay shouted a goodbye to Kim before taking his leave.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They’d finished the first movie and were about to put in the second, but Hailey hadn’t even noticed, she’d spent most of that time staring at Kim.

“Hails? Are you okay? Do I need to call Dr. Tamara?”

“I... I’ve tried writing speeches and planning exactly what to say, but I can’t because you’re too amazing to capture with words. Nothing ever seems good enough. And I have to be honest, I love that, because it means that I love you so much I can’t even fully comprehend it. And I know that you feel the same way, too. Kim, will you marry me?”

Hailey revealed the box from behind her and opened it up to show her the ring. Her heart was hammering in chest so hard and she just couldn’t force her eyes away from Kim’s face and the wistful tears accumulating in her eyes that mixed with the beaming smile she just loved to see.

“Yes!”


	7. Jay Halstead x Ethan Choi

They ran into each other at the last place they thought they would. Since Jay and Ethan had both been in the military, though in different factions, they figured they might run into each other at military events, they already had. But literally bumping into each other at an LGBTQ+ military personnel picnic? That shocked both of them. Ethan took notice of Jay’s pansexual flag pin and Jay looked at Ethan’s bisexual one. After the initial shock wore off, Ethan smiled, he was happy to know that he wasn’t alone in his social circle. Sure, Leslie Shay was a loud and proud lesbian, but they didn’t have anything in common and just made sure to say ‘hi’ whenever they ran into each other and buy each other nachos whenever they ran into each other at pride events (don’t ask, it just became their thing). Ethan went to give him a ‘dude hug’, as Leslie had dubbed them, when he noticed the fear etched onto Jay’s face. “Halstead, are you okay?” Honestly, he looked like he was about to burst into tears. “Jus- uhh” Jay hiccuped and Ethan was now justifiably worried. “Don’t tell Will.” And then Jay ran away from Ethan and the gentle arm he’d had on his shoulder like a bat out of hell. Jay could still feel the warmth of Ethan’s hand on his right shoulder as he drove away.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ethan didn’t tell Will. He didn’t give any indication that he knew something Will didn’t. He understood how important it was for him to keep quiet, but at the same time, it was so hard. Ethan wanted nothing more than to march up to the redhead and beat some sense into him. Will had obviously made to Jay that he wouldn’t be accepted if he came out. And he didn’t care, quite frankly. He had absolutely no sympathy for homophobes, he was done giving kindness and sympathy to people who wished that others wouldn’t exist because it deviated out of what they considered ‘normal’. So he’d gone back to being impassive and straight-faced. He pushed all of his feelings down because if he allowed himself to feel anything it would be complete and utter rage.

The next time he saw Jay was when he’d come into the ED to interview an assault victim. Apparently, there was a group of men catfishing and then assaulting LGBTQ+ men. Ethan’s heart ached just thinking about the case, all of the injured, betrayed victims. And Jay. Ethan didn’t want to know what was going through his mind, he probably viewed this as another reason not to come out.

The eye contact between them was brief, but Jay showed him vulnerability, and then thanks when Ethan gave him a sympathetic smile. Just trying to untangibley reach out and connect with his aching soul. And then suddenly it was gone, the grace that had bound the two of them temporarily, and Ethan had to watch with a sinking heart as Jay emotionally shrunk in on himself. “How’s our victim doing, Choi?”

“Not great, I’m afraid. He’ll live, but there’s going to be long lasting health problems for him.” 

“That’s terrible.”

“Yeah, it is.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days later, after the catfishing homophobes were caught, Ethan ran into Jay outside of Molly’s. His eyes were dark, broad shoulders were slumped, and he moved like his mind possessed all the strength his body just couldn’t muster. “Hey Choi- uh, Ethan?”

“Yeah?”

“Could we go somewhere to talk? Maybe get a drink?”

“Well, we are standing outside of a bar.”

“Somewhere that’s not packed to the seams with nosey people who know who I... Don’t want to hear what I want to talk... About. Y’know what? This was stupid-”

“How about Osso’s? Over on Folger street? It’s not a bar, but I’m starving and their booths have curtains.”

“Yeah, that sounds great, actually, thanks.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I figured out that I was bi when I was fourteen. I was watching The Mummy for the first time and I couldn’t stop thinking about how hot Brendan Fraser was. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Rachel Weisz was hot too, but Brendan really got my attention. When the movie was over, uh, well let’s just say that my Catholic guilt took hold. My mom knew, I told her when I was seventeen, and she kept trying to set me up with her friends’ daughters. She didn’t care, just told me that she loved me and that there was nothing wrong with me, but that I shouldn’t tell my dad or Will. She didn’t sugarcoat anything, she took me to this secluded spot on the pier and told me about homophobia and how bad it was, not just morally, but that it ran rampant, and that my father and brother were two heavy believers in an institution who made it their mission to oppress as many people as possible. Looking back, I think my dad knew, don’t know how or if he actually does, it’s just more of a gut feeling. My brother is still incredibly Catholic, he’s become more accepting over time, but it’s clear that while he’s okay with strangers being LGBTQ+, he’s not okay with anyone he’s close to being anything other than straight. The, uh, my first time I was nineteen and it was during my rangers training, with one of my now best friends, who I dated during that time for a while. Everything kinda fell apart when we got discharged. Mouse or-”

“Greg Gerwitz. I remember him.”

“Yeah, we broke up after we were discharged. Well, he broke up with me. Neither of us were handling being back well but he was handling it worse. It hurt like he;;, I missed him so much. After I started in Intelligence I brought him in as a CI. I just wanted to know he was okay, be near him again. But he was not the same man I’d fallen in love with. He was an addict, had a record, a small one, but still. I broke my heart almost as much as our breakup did. A little later I got him a job as our tech guy. It was good having him around, especially cause he was coming back, y’know? He’d quit his habits, became a law-abiding citizen. It was great. Then, he asked me out, asked me to take him back, and I did. Without a second of hesitation. Being together again felt amazing, but then he got his record expunged, dumped me, again, and went back to the rangers. It completely tore me to pieces, I got time off and didn’t get out of bed for two weeks after he deployed. Uh, wow, sorry to unload all of that on you. And that was probably a lot of information you didn’t want to hear-”

“No, no, Jay. It’s actually nice to talk about this, even though I’m out and open, I don’t actually get the chance to talk about it all that much. I’d actually like to share if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all, go ahead.”

“I was twenty-one when I figured it out. I was on brief leave in the navy, just a couple of days without duties while we were docked in Puerto Rico. I got pretty drunk, a guy I was dancing near was pretty drunk too, he kissed me, I kissed him back, and one thing lead to another. When I got back to port the next day, my friends all asked where I’d gone off to. I told them I got laid. It didn’t really hit me until the following night when I was in my bunk, lying awake because I couldn’t forget the feeling of his lips, or the callouses on his hands, or... Other quite honestly filthy details I probably shouldn’t share in a public place. I couldn’t sleep properly for two weeks, I come from a traditional Korean family. All I could think about was how they’d react. What would they do if they found out? I found out when I was twenty-nine. My sister, Emily, had somehow found out, and when she burst through the door, drunk off her ass, at the first Thanksgiving I’d been able to attend in five years, she announced it to everyone when I tried to calm her down and get her up to bed. The look, on my parents’ faces, I couldn’t even look at my grandparents. I just said sorry and ran out. I crashed at a fling’s place for a week. I couldn’t bring myself to pick up the phone or to go see them. I felt like someone had put my chest through a trash compactor, I couldn’t stop crying. I had lost my entire family in less than ten seconds. You know that subtle, back of the mind dread you feel when you’re boarding a plane for your next deployment? Normally, you push it away, accept it’s a possibility but try not to think about it. I welcomed it. I hoped I’d get killed, that I wouldn’t make it home. But then... My grandparents were at my gate. Their faces just lit up and they welcomed me with open arms. They both hugged me and made me promise to come home, not to be a hero. They gave me hope. They loved and supported me, went toe-to-toe with the rest of my family for me. I’ll never be able to thank them enough.”

“They sound really great, I’m glad that you have them.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Suddenly the heavy curtain closing off their booth from the rest of the world was pushed to the side. “Gentlemen, your food is ready. Who ordered the grilled salmon?”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ethan and Jay had grown much closer, having bi-weekly dinners. Sometimes at Osso’s, sometimes at Bartoli's, sometimes at their own apartments. They’d become close, close friends. But because drama followed them around like a moth to a flame because it felt like they lived in an overly dramatic tv show sometimes, it couldn’t stay that way.

Jay started to watch Ethan when he licked his lips after he took a sip of a drink, when the muscles in his arms lengthened themselves when he reached for something, that twinkle he got in his eyes whenever he got cocky. Jay knew what was happening from the first moment he found himself looking at Ethan’s lips for more than a millisecond. He was falling in love. And all that he could do was loathe himself for boarding a vessel with impending doom.

Reasons I Can’t Fall In Love With Ethan  
Will doesn’t know I’m bi   
Ethan works with Will  
Ethan is in the reserves and Mouse left me to go back to a warzone, it would kill me if it happened a second time  
His ex, April, is currently trying to get back together with him  
April also works with Ethan and Will  
Ethan doesn’t love me so I’d just be ruining our friendship

Jay looked down at his list and recited it in his head, over and over again. He needed to memorize it, live by it. If he didn’t his entire world, which he just finally found comfort in again, would crumble to the ground.

Jay didn’t distance himself from Ethan, his heart wouldn’t let him, but it got harder and harder to ignore his ever-growing feelings. But he couldn’t tell Ethan, he couldn’t be with Ethan, he knew that far too well. So the next time Ethan confided in Jay that April had made a move on him Jay did something incredibly, fabulously, thoroughly idiotic. “You should ask April out, man. I think that you guys would be great together.”

Yup. 

He actually did that.

Sigh.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Alright, who is she?”

“Excuse me?”

“Come on Jay, I’m your brother. I know you. The last time you looked like this and were drinking vodka, of all things, was when Erin left. You only drink vodka when you’re experiencing troubles of the heart.”

“I drank vodka when Mouse went back to the rangers.” 

“After he’d broken up with you to go back to the same warzone he’d almost died in.”

Jay choked on his drink and felt his heart plummet out of his body and onto the floor. Burning tears blurred his vision and Jay felt more afraid than he’d ever felt in his life. He’d been shot at, blown up, shot at again, taken hostage, tortured, and he never felt this scared, this small. “Jay? Oh my god, Jay are you okay? Breathe, man.” But he couldn’t. Why couldn’t he breathe? Why was his chest so tight? Why couldn’t he move? Suddenly he was yanked off of his couch and onto the floor, his head shoved between his bent knees. “Deep breaths, Jay. Just take slow deep breaths, in and out, just like me... Okay... Good, name five things you can feel, four things you can see, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.”

“Uh... floor, couch leg, carpet, coffee table... you... Um, I, uh, I see...”

“Four things you can see.”

“Jeans, scrubs, crumbs, Kim’s wine stain... Hear, u-uh, Netflix, heating system, the Needlers arguing again...”

“Your neighbours sure do fight a lot, but you’re doing great. Keep going. Two things you can smell.”

“... Pizza and your terrible cologne...”

“Ignoring that, one thing you can taste.”

“Your terrible cologne. Seriously, Will, your supposed to spritz it, not douse yourself in it.”

“Well you’re feeling better, but you’re still shaking. You feel a bit cold, get back on the couch I’m gonna grab you a blanket.” Will was right, he was still shaking, and he felt cold to the bone. His heart was pounding so hard it was terrifying and his chest was still tight... But he was feeling better. Panic attack. He’d gotten them before, along with anxiety attacks, night terrors, and paranoia. All connected to his PTSD. He’d just never had a panic attack about his sexuality before, only about the action he’d gotten overseas and in Chicago. When Will returned with a thick fluffy blanket he’d gotten from Kim for secret Santa, the same night she’d made that wine stain on his carpet, Jay was on the couch and gripping his knees tightly, trying to get a grip on himself. Will had also brought Jay’s first aid kit and was checking him over, after he’d been wrapped up like a traumatized child, and Jay released a shaky breath, unable to look his brother in the eye before speaking at the same volume as a mouse. “How long have you known?”

Will stopped what he was doing and regarded his brother. Jay was older and had always been Will’s hero growing up but right now... He just looked like he needed a hug. “I’ve known since you were nineteen. You brought Mouse back to visit with you while you guys had leave and when mom and dad had work and I had school, you guys had the place to yourselves. I realized when I was a couple of minutes away from the house that I’d forgotten my lunch, so I went back to get it. When I walked in you guys were making out on the couch. You were really... into each other, you didn’t even notice me. I was gonna bolt to the kitchen and back... But then you took off each other’s shirts and started reaching for belts so I bolted. I love you, Jay, and I don’t care who you have sex with, but I never want to actually see it.”

“Jeez, I’m sorry we must have traumatized you.”

“No you didn’t, I would’ve reacted the same way if I saw you with a girl... Which we both know is true cause you and Erin had a very bad habit of not closing your bedroom door.”

“Sorry about that... If you’ve known all this time, why have you never said anything? I mean you used to make these weird comments about being related to gay people, but...”

“I thought that you needed to be the one to tell me. It was your closet to exit, I thought it would’ve been rude to force it. And about those comments, I don’t know, it’s just you never told me. More and more time passed, and from the letters you were sending mom I could tell you and Mouse were still together but you never said anything. I was trying to give you hints that I don’t care, your sexuality doesn’t matter to me. I love you no matter what. The only reason that I brought up any of this now, forced you out of the closet... I’ve never seen you like this. It rivals when you came back. You are hurting and I want to be there for you, but I can’t if you won’t talk to me, if you won’t let me in.”

“But I’m sinning. You’ve always been more devout than me.”

Will scoffed. “Have you been reading the news? The Catholic church really can’t decide what’s right and wrong considering all they’ve done and covered up. Plus, did you really think I was going to make all my life choices based on the teachings given to me by men who forced us to wear plaid suit jackets for elementary and high school? Really, I can’t wear plaid anymore, I don’t understand how you can tolerate it, I swear I’ve got plaid PTSD.”

“Well, maybe it’s cause I actually have PTSD and there are far worse things to go through than having to wear plaid to school every day.”

“That was a bad comment, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright... So you’re really okay that I’m bi?”

“As long as you're happy, I’m happy.”

“You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that and mean it.”

Jay was tearing up again, but this time they were happy tears. Will just wrapped his big brother in a hug and relished ina feeling of closeness that he hadn’t felt since they were kids.

“Okay, now seriously Jay, who’s giving your heart trouble?”

“I don’t know, Will...”

“As long as it’s not Connor Rhodes I don’t care.”

“Well...”

“Oh no-”

“Ha! Just kidding! Your face, seriously, what did that guy ever do to you?”

“We’re not talking about the man who thinks he’s smarter than me. C’mon, tell me who it is. Is it someone I work with?”

“It’s Ethan Choi...”

“You guys have been spending a lot of time together over the past year, so I can see that. And he’s pan, right? Yeah, I think that you guys would be cute together and I think he’s got a thing for you, honestly. Why don’t you ask him out?”

Jay fell back and groaned. “I told him to ask out April the next time she hits on him.”

Will just blinked and stared at his masochistic and self-sacrificing moron of an older brother. “Why would you say that?! You clearly like him! You idiot!”

“... I’m gonna need the vodka back if we’re gonna keep talking about this.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jay felt like the weight he’d had on his shoulders was traded for another. He wasn’t worried about Will despising his existence anymore, but now he had to watch Ethan date April. And on top of all that, Will was always on his case about his miserably non-existent love life. So yeah, he wasn’t really enjoying his life at the moment. He was currently sitting up at the bar at Molly’s, avoiding ‘chexton’. He could hear April’s giggles and Doris squawking “you’re so perfect for each other!”, “I’m so glad you got back together!”, and “I call maid of honour!” over and over and over again. He knocked back the last of his beer when his phone buzzed.

Mouse: Hey Jay, I’m back on leave for a couple of days, just got off the plane. Want to meet up?  
Jay: Sure, you up for a beer at Molly’s? I’m here right now.  
Mouse: Actually I was thinking of a different kind of meet up. Your place? Just the two of us?  
Jay: Sounds like a plan.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jay and Mouse spent the two days he was home screwing each others’ brains out. That really was the best way to put it. Their time together was hot, heavy, and passionate. They wouldn’t get back together, no, but there was a bond there that would always remain. They’d both had tension that needed to be released and release it they did. Jay dropped Mouse off at O’Hare early on the third day. “Hey, thanks for this weekend. It was nice, it was good to see you again, Jay.”

“Yeah, you too. Stay safe Greg.”

“It’s Greg now?”

“You’ll always be important to me. You were the first man I loved, but you’ve left me twice. I need to move on.”

“It sounds like you already have. I’m happy for you, you deserve nothing but happiness, Jay. But, uh, should you have just spent an entire weekend naked with me if you’re with someone?”

“He doesn’t love me back.”

“Is he straight?”

“No, but he’s pan and got a girlfriend.”

“I’m sorry Jay. For your situation and everything else.”

“I know. Stay safe.”

“I will.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jay turned on his phone for the first time since he told Mouse to come over. He was met with an abundance of texts and missed calls. The texts were mostly from his colleagues, asking if he was going to be at Molly’s. A couple were from Will, asking if he wanted to get together to watch a game. The person who’d sent him the most texts and had made most of the missed calls was Ethan. Jay didn’t bother going through them all, he just sent his brother and Hailey quick text messages letting them know he was alive and would be at work on time, he’d just spent the weekend with a friend. He called Ethan as he made his way through the city. “Jay? Are you okay? Where have you been? I’ve been so worried, I called your brother and Hailey and none of them could tell me anything.”

“I was okay, I was at home the whole time.”

“But I went by your place, I knocked on your door, no one answered.”

“Oh, that was you? I thought it was Karen from down the hall. I was a little... Busy.”

“All weekend? Alone in your apartment? With no assigned case or old case that’s been bothering you?”

“Well, I wasn’t alone, actually.”

“What?”

“Yeah, Mouse was on leave for the weekend so he came over.”

“... You were alone with your ex-boyfriend for an entire weekend... Doing what?”

“Each other.”

“Damnit, Jay.”

“Eth-” And then Ethan hung up. Jay was confused and distressed, but he’d arrived at the district so his relationship with Ethan would have to wait. Well, friendship, not relationship.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Voight needed someone to go collect a statement from an accomplice at MED Jay’s reaction rivalled that of Katniss Everdeen. He was given a couple of odd looks, but he and Hailey made their way to the hospital, Hailey side-eying him the whole way. “Do you need to talk to Ethan?”

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“He hounded me for two days because you weren’t texting him back. He was really worried, Jay. What’s going on with you two? I mean, he was acting like...”

“Like what?”

“Like a worried boyfriend.”

“We’re not dating Hailey. Why would you think that?”

“Because you two look at each other the way Trudy and Mouch look at each other. Like you’ve hung the moon and the stars for each other. I don’t judge, Jay... You’re always really happy around him. I think you’d be good together.”

“He’s dating April.”

Hailey scoffed and rolled her eyes so hard her head rolled with them. “No, they’re not dating. She was acting like it, and Doris was yapping away about it on Friday at Molly’s, but Ethan was just quietly sitting there the whole night, he looked really uncomfortable honestly. A couple hours after you left he asked April if they could speak in private. It didn’t stay that way for long. Ethan had tried to tell her that he didn’t want to get back together and didn’t love her anymore, and she was upset, obviously. But it seemed like she understood. She hugged him and went to sit back at the nurses, but I guess she told them and Doris blew up, screamed at him, made a huge scene. April had to actually take her home. Ethan immediately came up to me and asked where you were.”

“Oh.”

“So you volunteered us to talk to him?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey Ethan.”

“Can we talk, Jay?”

“Yeah, I’d really like that.”

“The doctor’s lounge is free, we can talk in there.” They entered the darkened gray room together, both feeling the tension between them. It felt strange to just stand there, in the middle of the room, and Ethan wasn’t meeting his gaze. So Jay sat down, hoping that Ethan would follow his lead. He did. “I’m sorry that I worried you.”

“Don’t apologize, I should actually be apologizing to you. You didn’t owe me an explanation, we don’t have the kind of... Relationship that warrants you letting me know when you’re going to disappear for a weekend with your ex. We’re just- We’re just friends.” Jay was silent for several moments, trying to think of what to say. How to phrase what he was feeling. There didn’t seem to be an eloquent way to phrase it, so he decided to just jump in and hope he didn’t get hurt. “I don’t want to be friends with you Ethan. I want to be more than that, I love you. I understand if you don’t feel the same way, but- I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I’ve been trying to distract myself, with Mouse most recently, but it didn’t work. It doesn’t change that I really want to kiss and date and be loved by you. Will you go out on a date with me?”

“Yes, there is quite literally nothing else I’d rather do. How about tonight, because I don’t think I can wait any longer. And I love you too.”

“I know that the wall behind us is basically just a window but I really want to kiss you-” Thankfully Ethan didn’t care about that, and gave Jay a kiss so incredible, he saw stars.

... And missed Hailey and Will high-fiving behind him.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After informing the accomplice that he was being arrested for armed robbery, obstruction of justice, and public urination, Jay and his partner left MED. Jay was so happy he was practically vibrating as he skipped out of the hospital. His, highly amused, partner got into the passenger side of his truck and thumped his shoulder. “See? I told you that he likes you.”

“How did you figure out I’m not straight, anyway? I’ve... Played that pretty close to the vest. I only told Will a week ago.”

“You know Nico’s Diner over in Greektown?”

“Yeah.”

“My family owns it. I started working there when I was nine, I think? I worked there through high school and college. And I go there once a month to catch up with my brothers. You used to go there all the time with this guy and you’d hold hands and kiss him quite a bit, so I figured you were more than friends. I recognized you when I walked onto that robbery scene a couple years ago.”

“So you knew, this entire time, that I was bisexual and you didn’t say anything to anyone? Why not?”

“It wasn’t my place to tell Jay, besides, I didn’t know that you were bisexual, just that you liked men. I just spoke up now because you were really hurting Jay, it was so obvious, and it was obvious that Ethan was hurting too. I really hope that you guys are happy together.”

“Thanks, me too.”

“Soooo... Where are you gonna take Ethan on your big date?”


End file.
